LIVING in this world is not complete if there is no spouse. You rich? Got a look that handsome? You’ve got everything in this world? Everything is meaningless if we do not have couples who allow us to have offspring. Couples are able to change our lives for the better or vice versa! Yes, couples are strongly influence your life actually.
There is one thing that we should know is the fact that cannot be disputed. That most of the success and downfall of a man there’s a woman who can inspire or cause of downfall behind him. Yes, the influence of very large woman in a man’s life. Women are the driving force or the pulse of life.
Thus, to build success in life, even when we still do not have a woman as our couples, sure in our mind, we imagined a woman that we like to savor the spirit and success. But, because of the reason we are not able to express our feelings, it is enough if she is in our memory and burn our effort. No, it is not enough actually!
The problem of some men at present to have a life partner because a number of factors that blocking them. Not because the world does not have enough women. It is wrong! The problems occur because men are not so wise to win a woman’s heart until a woman is refuse his feelings. Because of that factors, many men are frustrated.
Sometimes, as you wonder about your relationship with your partner, you might wonder how it goes with others’ relationships? Are your issues similar to theirs? How do others combat, struggle with and solve their problems? How happy others are? How often do they make love – and whether whatever you are going through with your own partner is “normal”, is “o.k.”, and acceptable.
One way for you to find out is to read studies conducted with others, and compare yourself to them. A word of caution: different studies might come up with different findings, depending on the location of the study, on its purpose, on the sample they use, and on other compounding variables. In addition, it is important that you remember that whatever results a certain study shows, if you find out that your relationship looks different from the major findings in the study, it does not, by all means, say that something is wrong with your relationship. Each couple’s relationship can be a unique experience. Most important of all is that you feel happy within your relationship.
Still, at times, in order to think and reflect upon your own intimacy, it might be helpful to realize what others think and feel about their relationships.
The following study, conducted in The Netherlands towards the end of 2012 involved 800 women (Source: Libelle, February 5, 2013). The findings were as followed:
- 78% feel that it is important for them to be complemented by their partner;
- 77% believe that it is possible to revive the relationship after a crisis.
- 74% said that their relationship gets better and better with time;
- 71% said that they feel overall happy with their relationship;
- 48% would like their partner to behave differently;
- 25% feel that talking and discussing issues together strengthens the relationship;
- 23% feel that doing things together is the most important;
- 23% have regular arguments;
- 22% of them thought regularly about separating from their partners;
- 21% said they have sex at the most 1 time in a month.
As you look at these findings, contemplating your own situation, you may also want to know how long these women were with their partner:
36% of them had a relationship for over 20 years;
23% were with the same partner between 1 to 5 years;
18% were between 5 and 10 years with the same partner.
The remaining 23% of the women were with their partner less than a year of more than 20 years.
When you read these findings, what comes through your mind? Do they surprise you in any way? Do you feel satisfied about your own relationship? Do these findings bring to mind issues you want to deal with? Do they make you think about whatever changes you would like to make within your relationship?
No matter how much these findings reflect to your own relationship or not, what important is that they stimulate you to reflect upon your own relationship. Such a reflection can always enhance the relationship, help solve issues you and your partner might struggle with, indicate to you whichever changes there might be necessary or emphasize to you, once again, how good a relationship you have.
Sometimes, no matter how hard both partners work at a relationship, things do not get better. Communication problems, a death in the family, health problems, mental problems, substance abuse problems, infidelity, problems with children and other issues can negatively affect a marriage. Not all marriage problems require counseling, but some do.
How do you know if you should get marriage counseling?
If you are considering filing for a separation or a divorce, it is definitely time to get marriage counseling. Before making any drastic decisions about not staying together, it is worth trying to work things out with the help of a counselor. You both have invested a lot of time into your marriage and counseling may be able to save it. Don’t say it is over, until you first get help. Many times, people are so angry and upset at their spouse, they think they want a divorce. The grass is not always greener in another relationship. Remember that you need to exhaust all options before you move on to someone else.
Major life experiences such as infidelity, a death in the family, illness or substance abuse, often warrant marriage counseling. You may be able to work past your problems without counseling, however, your chances of success are higher with the help of a professional. Major life experiences are traumatic and can cause deeply-rooted emotional issues. Working these issues out in counseling will help both of you to resolve your emotional issues, allowing for a happier and healthier marriage.
Is your marriage full of arguments? Do you disagree about how to raise your children? Do you ignore each other? Do you feel like you are in a loveless marriage? Is the romance in your marriage gone? Whatever the problem is in your relationship, if you have not been able to work it out with each other, you should see a marriage counselor.
Problems do not go away by ignoring them. If you have tried and tried to work through your differences without success, professional help is needed. In order for marriage counseling to work, both of you have to be willing to attend counseling and make an effort to resolve your issues. Working together is the key to success.
If you are the only one who wants counseling, then go on your own. As you make changes for yourself, it is possible that your spouse will see these changes and decide to pursue some counseling too.
How serious are you about filing for a separation or a divorce? Perhaps marriage counseling would help you sort through some of the problems and help you find the best way to handle them.